Hector: Hey, Serra. Can anyone use a staff of St. Elimine, even if they lack the faith?
Serra: What? Wait! You’re making fun of me in a roundabout way! I never! Only someone like you could do such a thing! Can you even imagine the many nights I’ve wet my pillow in tears...
Hector: ...Nope, I can’t.
Serra: I have been sensitive and delicate since I was born, you know! Not that I’d expect you to know that, or care. It might surprise you to know this, but I am of high noble birth!
Hector: Huh? You’re right, I didn’t know... You some distant relation of one of the nobles of Lycia?
Serra: No, I am a full-blooded member of an Etrurian count’s family.
Hector: What, are you serious!?
Serra: Very serious. You should be calling me “Lady Serra,” you know, really. But since it’s you, Lord Hector, I’ve been tolerating plain “Serra.”
Hector: Hmph, hard to picture...but I guess I’ll take your word for it. Where’s that count’s family from?
Serra: They are, well, that’s what I’m not sure of.
Serra: There was all this talk about family status and succession of titles and such... My parents decided to put me in an abbey when I was still a child. That’s why I don’t know the count’s name...or what my parents were like... But I’m sure they were gentle and beautiful people, both of them!
Hector: But you’ve never met them?
Serra: Yes, but look at me, their child! I’m sure you can imagine how striking my father must... Lord Hector? Was that a yawn!?
Hector: Hey, Serra. That abbey you lived in was in Ostia, right?
Serra: W-Why do... What of it?
Hector: I was thinking, the only abbey left in the land of Ostia right now is the one that was rebuilt when my brother was made marquess.
Hector: So...that was the place?
Serra: Y-Yes...that was where I grew up. With children who had lost their parents in the war, children from poor villages. It was an orphanage for those children, too, you see...
Hector: You know, I visited there once. Dismal place, it was. After my brother donated money it got a little better, true...
Serra: Y-Yes, I suppose... We were always short on food. The winters were cold, with no wood for the fire, and no warm blankets... But I was fine, really! I knew it was only temporary! I knew things would get better!
Hector: Hey, calm down! No need to shout!
Serra: I really am of the bloodline of an Etrurian count’s family, I am! I just can’t meet them right now because of family... family issues! But, someday... Someday. My true parents will come to welcome me back.
Hector: ... ...
Serra: My mother and father are truly kind people, who thought often of me, alone in the abbey... I... I’m sure of it! It has to be true.
Serra: W-What! Don’t look at me like that! It is really true! Really, I-I am...
Hector: It’s fine... I believe you. C’mon, don’t cry. No one doubts you are who you say you are.
Serra: I know that. I know.
Hector: Oh, all right. Good.
Serra: Well...I should be going. I have to see if anyone’s been injured!
Hector: Serra! If you ever need anything, you talk to me or Oswin. We’re your family, or at least, we are until your parents come for you.
Hector: Right? So, let’s go.
Serra: You are a bit...untidy to be a member of my family... But I suppose I can tolerate that...if I must, yes. ... ...
Serra: Ahhh-ahh. All this time in the sun is doing terrible things to my skin! Lord Hector needs to take better care of his vassals!
Matthew: Come on. We should keep moving.
Serra: Hey, hey, Matthew! Wouldn’t it be great if we had our own vassals?
Matthew: Hm? Who needs ‘em. You don’t need partners to swipe treasure and unlock doors. And too many people means too many footfalls.
Serra: But I want my own vassals!
Matthew: ...Oh, please, not again. And what exactly would you have your vassals do?
Serra: Well, first of all, they would have to call me Lady Serra... And bring me cold, refreshing drinks... And massage my feet and shoulders every day... I would also require their absolute submission to my every whim, of course... I don’t need much, just a faithful servant who would slave away for me until death!
Matthew: ...Oh, is that all? Well, then...
Serra: I wonder if someone has misplaced his vassals recently. Maybe there’s one just lying around here somewhere...
Serra: Hey, Matthew! Listen to this! You’ll never believe how mean Lord Hector was to me!
Matthew: ...Blimey. What now?
Serra: I said to him, “Give me some vassals,” and do you know what he said back to me? Can you guess? Can you? NOTHING! He ignored me! Can you believe it?
Matthew: ...And you are so very, very difficult to ignore...
Serra: Right! You are seriously the only person who could understand how much hurt I am feeling right now!!
Matthew: I’m not sure anyone could understand...
Serra: Why is Lord Hector always so mean to us? I mean, we are always putting our life on the line for him!
Matthew: ...I hate to admit it, but you may have a point there... I have approached him many times with my own request, only to be turned away...
Serra: Yeah, see!? So, what did you ask for, Matthew? Vassals? Rank? Promotion? Jewels?
Matthew: Ehh... I told him there was... an unwanted distraction... that it was making it difficult for me to work... that he should let me do things my own way, that I should be...free from this distraction...
Serra: Yeah! Yeah! I totally know what you mean, Matthew! Lord Hector just doesn’t understand our needs! We should go complain to him together!
Matthew: ...Man, are you ever thick...
Serra: Come along, Matthew! You’ll be left behind if you dawdle so!
Matthew: She’s not bad looking... If only she would just...shut...up...
Matthew: Yeah, yeah. Come along, I know. ...Save...me...
Serra: You know, I’ve been thinking... If you have trouble around guys... Maybe it’s just because you’re shy... See, you’re even a little reserved when talking to other women...
Florina: Y-Yes... I am.
Serra: Then you just need to have more confidence! No matter who you’re with, just think of yourself as being better than them! That’ll do it!!
Florina: I can’t think of them...as equals?
Serra: No, no, not at all! Think of them as lowly little bugs if you can.
Florina: As...as bugs?
Serra: look, your shyness is pretty deeply ingrained, right? Then you’ll have to take drastic measures!! Stand up straight! Push out that chest! Raise that chin! Look me in the eye! No! I’m a bug, remember! Look at me with disgust!
Florina: Err, umm... Stand up...straight. Puff out... Like this?
Serra: No! No! No! More defiant! And your legs! Take a wider stance! Yeah! That’s better!
Florina: ...Um... I feel weird...
Serra: The eyes! Don’t forget! Raise your chin! More disdain!
Serra: Hey, Sain. So, who do you think Lyn will end up with? Lord Eliwood? Lord Hector, maybe?
Sain: Lady Lyndis? Hmmm... Why do you ask?
Serra: Well, you know, it’s fun to guess! No matter who she chooses, it’ll be big news throughout Lycia, right? But who? Who? Which one, do you think?
Sain: I think it’s a mistake to restrict the contest to just those two. Why even this humble knight might be a suitable suitor.
Serra: No, not you, Sain. You’re not even in the running...
Sain: What!? I had no idea! Could that sparkle in her eye have been nothing more than the reflection of my own love?
Serra: Yeah. I check up on these things, you know. And according to my sources, the one that Lyn likes is...
Sain: She likes--?
Serra: Lord Hector, I’d say... They argue a lot, but that’s the sign of passion! My intuition is very keen. Personally, I’d go for Lord Hector anyway... I mean, he’s royalty! As the heir, he’ll be the future marquess!
Sain: Hmmm... Hey! Serra! Can you tell me who has eyes for me?
Serra: Nope, nope, nope. I know, but I won’t tell.
Serra: Because...you hit on all the girls... And I...think...that...makes...you...gross. So I will never tell!
Serra: OK, let’s see... Saint Elimine, praise be your graces. Please ensure that no one dies in this battle. Please grant me speed to heal my allies’ wounds. And, um, what else...
Serra: I want Hector to give me a lot of gold, and I want to get all the food and only ever have to do the fun jobs, and I want a servant who does whatever I say, and everyone should worship me and give me things, and...uhh...
Oswin: This is an unorthodox prayer. Does it go on much longer?
Serra: Lord Oswin!? Ohhh... Were you listening that whole time?
Oswin: I have orders for you from Lord Hector. You must join the healers on the front line...
Serra: What!? You’re joking.
Serra: You want me to be right up in the front, where all the swords and axes and spears are? Why should I be up there?
Oswin: ...In a normal fight, you wouldn’t. But this time’s different. Lord Hector and Lord Eliwood are on the front line. If we, their retainers, do not help them, then what are we? Perhaps you convinced Hector to go easy on you last time? Not this time. Go to the front lines and do as you are told.
Serra: Huhn. ...This is the first time we’ve spoken. Do you know why?
Lucius: Why? ...No, I do not.
Serra: I just make a policy not to make friends with girls who are as adorable as I am. I don’t need anyone else drawing attention away from me! So stay away from me, got it? Is that all sinking in?
Serra: Oh, and I forgot one thing! You can’t come near me, but I expect you to fully back me up as your senior cleric, all right? We serve St. Elimine, right? I mean, we’re the same? Well, you’re much older, but you still need to follow the code!
Lucius: W-Well, yes. Of course. ...But.
Serra: What? Do you have some complaint?
Lucius: No, no complaints... ...It’s just... I’m...
Serra: Why do you have to be so horribly annoying! Just tell me, already!
Lucius: I’m not a cleric. I’m a monk, so... So......
Serra: A M-Monk!?
Serra: But...to be a monk, don’t you have to... be a... Well...a guy?
Serra: What have you been doing? You’re supposed to protect me! So hurry up and start protecting!
Erk: Why should I have to protect you? I have not been ordered to do so.
Serra: Pfff! What are you talking about? My orders are good enough!
Erk: Look, I don’t think you understand...
Serra: Well, someone would have ordered you to eventually, anyway... Both Lord Eliwood and Lord Hector are captivated by my charm... So, wait...wouldn’t that make me this army’s... ...leader? Wow, I didn’t even know I had that kind of power!!
Erk: Ahem... You are a member of House Ostia, are you not? So why are you putting on such airs? In some ways... I actually envy you...
Serra: Oh, really? Well, it’s always nice to receive compliments...
Erk: Serra, could you please stop moving around so much? It’s hard enough protecting you when you stand still...
Serra: What’s the matter, Mr. Frumpy-Face? Well, at least you’ve started taking my orders...
Erk: ...Look, it wasn’t your order... I was actually instructed to guard you by someone in authority. And nothing else, got it?
Serra: Oh, don’t act like you don’t love the chance to stay by my side! Come on, don’t fight it...
Serra: I knew it! My beauty should be a crime! Ah, but poor Erk, it must be hard to be you... Surely Eliwood and Hector despise you for getting the chance to be with me like this... They might send you to the front line to die, even!!
Erk: I am not too worried about that.
Serra: ...Hm. Now what kind of an answer is that? You must not understand the power I have over men! Now listen closely, and I’ll explain from the beginning...
Erk: That’s enough! Why do you pester me constantly!? If you hate me so, why be around me!?
Serra: Don’t say that! I’m the only here who understands your dark, secretive personality! You’re likely to starve to death or get hurt and die if I don’t look after you! I just stay by your side to make sure that doesn’t happen!
Erk: It’s the same with me. People find you so annoying, they probably wouldn’t look for you if you disappeared... So I stay with you to make sure you don’t...